That is to say, looms the fantasy baseball draft and its attendant pain and suffering in that if you haven't started preparing, if you don't have at least three dozen Excel spreadsheets crammed line to line with the most trivial of statistics, not to mention a stack of unredacted NSA surveillance and also a reputable source of safe and reliable - though technically illegal - mood sharpening substances, it's too late for you if you entertain any notion of avoiding relegation to some damn bass fishing fantasy league.
So there's no shame in just giving it up without even getting started. Flip a coin, choose based on high school mascot or from which of the Dominican Republic's 31 provincias the player comes - one is as good as the other because it's too late, baby, it's too late.
One of my favorite baseball cliches is, "Stick a fork in him, he's done." I just counted 'em up. I have nine forks, poised and ready to go.
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