Hard at Work - For You

Being league (Beloved) Commissioner for Life is much like being the progressive and public-spirited governor of a state with a conservative and mean-spirited legislature, and I mean that in the most loving way possible. I have made, and will continue to make, determinations about questions of position eligibility with only the welfare and smooth functioning of the league as my governing principle.

But remember that poor Democratic governor. Zie (gender neutral - very progressive) can only do zir best while accepting the fact the mad cow posse (if I may playfully and respectfully so describe) that is zir state's legislature may overturn and nullify zir decisions. Here are the latest and hottest: Giancarlo Stanton is a left fielder, Shohei Ohtani is a right fielder and Alex Verdugo is a center fielder.

Unless you (already gender neutral - good job!) by majority say otherwise. Now is the time to raise those questions.

Winter is Coming

 That is to say, looms the fantasy baseball draft and its attendant pain and suffering in that if you haven't started preparing, if you don't have at least three dozen Excel spreadsheets crammed line to line with the most trivial of statistics, not to mention a stack of unredacted NSA surveillance and also a reputable source of safe and reliable - though technically illegal - mood sharpening substances, it's too late for you if you entertain any notion of avoiding relegation to some damn bass fishing fantasy league.

So there's no shame in just giving it up without even getting started. Flip a coin, choose based on high school mascot or from which of the Dominican Republic's 31 provincias the player comes - one is as good as the other because it's too late, baby, it's too late. 

One of my favorite baseball cliches is, "Stick a fork in him, he's done." I just counted 'em up. I have nine forks, poised and ready to go.

Putting on My Best Sweats for Draft Day

 These accentuate my buttocks.

Will the Draft Descend into a Sewer of Rage and Sadness?

I suppose this means we'll have to drink a lot. 

 Those who haven't been socializing during the pandemic aren't used to seeing people in person. For example, the experience of managing a group conversation bigger than what a person has experienced over the last year could cause someone to think harder in the moment, and thus take more energy.

 

Draft Prep Off to a SlooooowStart

Very excited about the draft but, sitting down this afternoon to jot some notes about projected starting lineups (as opposed to who actually started games the first week of the season), I discovered I am NOT excited about my usual draft prep, of my usual practice of extensive list making. (Which has always made me think I was a chartered accountant in a previous life, in Great Britain, of course, no such thing as a CPA across the pond as we learned from more than one Monty Python sketch.) Maybe the Covid lockdown, i.e., slowdown, has created an inertia so deep it will take months to overcome. The past year, for so many things why do it today instead of tomorrow. (Mañana, mañana, mañana is soon enough for me.) 

 

Yet the remorseless clock at the bottom of this page....

We Know Nothing. Nothing.

I mean speaking for myself.