We are a fantasy baseball league whose draft is scheduled for April 14. Ten men enter (or nine or eight), and one man leaves.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Draft Day: Pablo, or The Elephant in the Room

Le Tampon
Le Tampon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
A baby elephant. Pablo already weighs 50 pounds more than a baby elephant, and it's early days. So how much a pound are you willing to pay for him, Giants bitches?

Until his rant about the Giants tampon (as in toxic shock) clubhouse a few weeks ago, I thought drafting at 3B would be quite straightforward. The G4Gs - goofy for Giants - guys would bid him up pretty high, and then Marky Marko would buy another vowel for 9 bucks or so.

But now that Pablo's slandered the Men of Orange, I am really not sure the degree to which bruised feelings will counterbalance the possibility of bruised baseballs bouncing off the Green Monster - and I don't mean Peter's crunchy kale salad.

I had thought I'd bring Pablo out at once at a stiff dollar figure,  just high enough to tempt the rest of you into leaving me hanging so that you could chuckle at my apparently misreading the room. That is a bidding strategy, based on the premise that most of us seem content to start low and boost the bid in quarter increments, hoping that enough of those at the table will be drunk, dumb or unfocused enough to let a player slip through at a bargain price. But what if you are immediately challenged and bumped offstride with an initial offer of, say, 5 dollars, which breaks the rhythm, the drumbeat of quarter-up, quarter-up until someone blinks?

(And someone is always blinking.)

Maybe I will make that preemptive strike, if only to see Mark snap to attention. I really do like Pablo after all. We both have clearly had a bellyful of Frisco.


Peter said...

He's going to hit 35 home runs.

KB said...

Did I hear that Pablo asked in one of his rants, "Who is Aubrey Beardsley?" That is so awesome he's interested in the 19th century gothic illustrator. Beardsley's Poe images are iconic.

....J.Michael Robertson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
....J.Michael Robertson said...

The collaboration between Pablo and Beardsley was long and fruitful


Meanwhile, Peter tries to move the market.

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