We are a fantasy baseball league whose draft is scheduled for April 23. That's a little late, even for us. But given the spate of players going on the DL...

Saturday, April 09, 2005

I'D WALK A MILE FOR A CAMEL HEAD

"SYDNEY, Australia (AP) 4/8/05 -- Qantas Airways Ltd. on Friday suspended a baggage handler who was caught on video opening a passenger's bag which contained a camel costume, donning the head and wandering around the airport tarmac.

"The costume's owner said he was waiting inside the terminal at Sydney Airport earlier this week when he glanced outside and saw the baggage handler wearing his camel head. He said he was shocked and reported the incident to the airline.

"Qantas Chief Executive Geoff Dixon said a security camera had recorded the baggage handler opening the bag and trying on the camel head. He said the baggage handler had been suspended and could be fired pending further investigation."

Okay, let's review: You're working as a baggage handler, one of the definitive dead-end, toilet-scrubber, drive-you-absolutely-insane-performing-mindless-drudgery occupations, and you're probably considering suicide for the 900th time, and as usual at such times, you open a few bags for a bit of brief and blessed diversion, and what do you find? A camel costume! Complete with camel head! This can only be a gift from God Almighty. I don't think "miracle" is too overwrought a word. Thirteen years working the Sidney International offload conveyer line, and you've never even heard of anyone else coming across a camel head. What do you do? An imbecilic question. You PUT THE CAMEL HEAD ON AND YOU CAVORT AROUND THE TERMINAL. Why? Because you'll never have this chance again. Because there can be no other reason for you having stumbled across this camel head. It is God's message to baggage handlers the world around that, even in their living hell, there can be deliverance and divinely inspired solace. And anyway, if it's good enough for the Bohemian Club, it's good enough for you.

The International Brotherhood of Baggage Handlers should make it a stipulation in their next union contract that, for one minute each month, members around the world shall be allowed to pause and refresh their spirits by doing "the camel walk." And that Aussie worker's locker should be made a shrine.

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